I'm back!

(Not like you care, right?)

I went on an long long long long long (1 month) hiatus because of wtfolevels which fortunately ended last thursday with a rather screwed up Chemistry Paper 1.

As expected, O levels wasn't anywhere near the word fun. But on 4th November, on my dearest hubby's birthday, smack right in the middle of O levels, 1 day after Social Studies Paper and 2 days before Human Geography Paper,
I WENT FOR THE SINGAPORE KOREAN NIGHT CONCERT.

Then, it was back to boring shit until PROM on 14th November 2008.
It was so awesome, I don't even know where to start!

Because I have dozens of pictures (and I hate long posts) I'm going to split them up [:

Korean Pop Night coming up first! :D

The Kiss

 

I know I probably should be bawling my eyes out right now.
But watch the video, it is the SWEETEST KISS EVER.
It just made me love both of them, even MOAR!
Oh god, I love this so so much 


OH FUCK, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THEY'RE DATING
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(no subject)


Fuck. I'm sick of life.

I'm feeling all these mixed emotions and it feels like everything I've done is just fucking screwed. What the hell am I doing with my life? I wish I could die and wake up one day to find myself someone different. I don't like you, Yanjun. I hate you for all the shit you have done, and I'd want you dead. If I wasn't such a chicken I would've been slashing flesh-deep wounds onto my arm. This isn't right. I feel like dying and it just came suddenly.

What do you want?

Re:

Well well well, let's get it started shall we?
*cracks fingers*

This shan't be bitchy since I'm over my bitchy days AND I sense your sincerity but rather a direct reply to your post.

First off, I understand. And I wouldn't say you're forgiven because I'm not in a position to. I'd just say I get your drift (pretty well at that) and that I'm glad it didn't escalate into something terrible.

I'm glad you reflected. I guess that's what I really wanted. Rather than start a bitch fight with someone I share so much in common with.

Then, my usage of 'publicise online'. I smsed you, because I wanted to protect you. I didn't want others to know about it because I needed to hear what you wanted to say. It was more of a personal problem between us. Sure, I probably wasn't thinking straight and was agitated. But the last thing I would have wanted was you bringing this ONLINE. When you suggested on doing just that, I just found myself downright DUMB for even thinking about your welfare. Hence the bitchy-ness.

About Saturday, saying 'Waste my time' is just a figure of speech. I didn't literally mean it that way but more of, 'Why bother to ask me out when you already intended on going out with your friends?' In your msg, (what I remember, at least), you merely stated you were at the airport with friends. And my first reaction was what the fuck. If you actually told me you were there for an urgent meeting (didn't seem like it because you were wanting to go to the Japanese restaurant with us), it would've been a different story. Besides that, I have to say your message didn't come in at the right time. I wasn't in the best of mood because dance didn't go very well and guess what. I was actually looking forward to meeting you. And more than anything, I was disappointed and disappointing me would mean bringing a side of me you've never seen before, out. I get frustrated and start speaking without thinking. I cursed out loud in front of the others when I saw your msg. And I don't curse very often. And when you msg me asking for my account number with that striking 'oh god' at the beginning, I was just like, 'what, you think I'm angry because that pathetic $25? please!' But now that I've seen your explanation, I misunderstood you.

This whole incident was just a misunderstanding and I'm glad it's cleared. But this was the 'last straw' as you would call it that prompted me to send you whatever I did today. So it all comes down a misunderstanding, huh?

On with the dance thing.
First off, PLEASE STOP WITH YOUR 'SLEEP WITH SOMEONE TO GET MONEY' THING. I NEVER EVER EVER SAID I WANTED YOU TO. IT'S AGAINST HUMAN MORALS AND RIDICULOUS. If you EVER thought I wanted you to do that, then again, I. Am. Disappointed.

I'm not really into this dance thing but I've heard how the others are struggling, like you did, to pay off their fees (in addition to yours). And since someone mentioned about it to me, and I had a chance to voice it out, so I did. From what I heard, I appeared to me that you were not really sorry and that you were quitting because of other reasons you mentioned before. If you are really sorry, talk to the others about it, not keep it inside and let others misunderstand you. Be clear and be heard.

Another misunderstanding. The hoodie thing. Again, I was told you didn't want it anymore and yes, this meant more problems for us. Same thing, it made me think, 'why did she always have to do things in the last minute? if she didn't want it in the first place, she should've said so. not pull out when everything has been bought and in progress.'

Moving on to addressing. I don't see a need to do that. Face it, as much as we would love to be, we are NOT koreans. What's the use of trying to be one? Do you see singaporeans calling every male senior they know as 'Kor' or female as 'Jie'. It's ridiculous, isn't it? If I ever did that it would be against my will and probably sound ultra fake. And as a team, I see everyone as an equal, there's no one who's more superior or whom I think needs a proper address. I don't even call Diana omma because I wasn't there when the nickname was given. I give rightful respect to everyone of them and that's enough. So yes, you will not see me calling you 'dongsaeng' or the others 'unnie' anytime soon. I'm not saying you must stop doing so but I just wouldn't do it, okay?

Rude/immature issue all goes down to D's incident. I was furious and disappointed on hearing what you did. I mean, she's the omma. We know her well enough so I need not say further right? And when I saw that you mentioned on your blog that you threw your temper at her. I thought you just went too far. First, at me, then at D? I found myself saying, 'Who the hell does she think she is?' Then I recalled what you told me when we were on the train home from the meeting at Cafe Cartel. It struck me then that you just didn't have respect for us. Hence those words.

Tolerating. Right when the dance issue popped up. That's where it started. And followed by all those events up there. I haven't got a complete view of what all of the others think but that's what it appeared to me, at least. I wouldn't want to touch on this further, it may jeopardise the future of our team. So let's not cross the line, shall we.

You took it the hard way, I guess. Yes. It was meant to be a wake up call. As the closest to you, I found myself with the responsibility to speak to you about it. I wanted to on saturday and guess what happened. It was supposed to be a calm conversation between the two of us with you answering the questions I have, and me listening to what you have to say. The sudden 'I can't come because I'm at the airport with friends; thing REALLY screwed things up.

And replying the small font paragraph. This is how I am. I keep it in as much as I can, and when I can't any longer, I just explode. I have learnt not to blow up about every small little thing I encounter. So I can't change this because this is how I am. You may not like it but I find it the best way out. Would you rather me tell you, 'Hey, Stop it. You're seriously fucked up like this.' I wouldn't like that and I know you wouldn't either. Small chance of seeing me like this but I guess it's just our luck. Everything happened at the wrong time, and ended up like this.

I understand now but I only wished you'd done it simply not online. Now it's open for the world to see. Nothing's gonna change because, as I said. I was just voicing my opinion and I wanted to hear yours. Now that I have, it's pretty much settled but not on the Thailand thing. My mother is being a paronoid freak about how precarious the country is so we'll get to that soon.

To conclude, there's no need to apologise (not to me, at least) and you shan't be forgiven because there's nothing to forgive in the first place. I'm sorry I hurt you, I didn't mean to.

Well, now that we've overcame this obstacle. Let's carry on with our lives as friends, shall we?

Oh my frail frail heart...

I MET A FREAKO TODAY. LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR AGO.
*OMG FREAKS OUT*
I was walking home from Eunos mrt when this person (couldn't see whether it's a man or woman) who was walking towards me from the opposite direction suddenly STOPPED AND TURNED TOWARDS ME. OKAY I FREAKED OUT AND FELT MY ADRENALINE LEVEL SHOOT UP TO 200% and I walked at like, Godspeed away from that freako. You may think that I'm overreacting because that person is just an ordinary person... NO! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. He/she looked every bit like a lunatic. Unkempt hair (estimated to be unwashed for 10 years), plasters-lookalike (could be scotch-tape) all over legs and arms, AND A KNS-SHITASS-PERVERTED SMILE. Give me a reason not to freak out! D: 

Thank you angmoh family in front of me! I think I actually scared the hell out of you for suddenly walking so quickly behind you guys, but YOU SAVED MY LIFE, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU ANG MOH FAMILY! ♥

OMG *shivers*  WTF